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When I first joined a certain fandom here I hit it off well with a bunch of new friends. We used to go to chatrooms every night and RP on them. It was awesome. Problem is when I invited a girl I roleplayed with a lot and was the first person to ever interact with my blog, it slowly went downhill. She was friendly, but she was also very stubborn and persistent. She wanted to roleplay ALL the time. She doesn’t back down when she wants fun.

I’m a submissive personality, so I just… let it happen to me. She can be funny, and trust me she’s a good writer with some good roleplay abilities, but lately I heard she has technically almost borderline manipulated someone a long time ago. Some of my friends are not very fond of her. She used to try to bring her muse to the center of attention in the beginning during roleplays, and her character even ended up committing suicide from something he did(thanks to our type of fandom he was brought back to life and all is fine with him now, I think??). I don’t mess with people’s character development, so I didn’t say anything, and left way before it happened.

Now I don’t even think she knows she did anything wrong. She knows people are not happy when she enters the chatroom, some even opt on leaving. She’s upset. I’m tired of keeping things from her, but I’m also tired of her constantly pestering me to roleplay(not that she doesn’t come up with the thread ideas, she does a lot of multi-muse things). I don’t want to hurt her feelings, but I’m already feeling like uber crap because of everyone just not liking her(which is understandable), but because I’d rather just not interact with anybody out of character except for one other person because our group is just falling apart. It’s sort of bringing stress on my thought process and kind of making me feel depressed.

What do I do?

Now, what I would do and what you may choose to do may be two different things, so I’m going to try and offer you options here.

IF IT WERE ME I would honestly stop roleplaying with her altogether. If she has a way of making the atmosphere toxic anytime she enters the room, and people just want to leave when she’s around, do not like her, etc. that’s a red flag.

However, I wouldn’t stop roleplaying with her without letting her know the problem.

Here is what I would say:

I think we need to talk as there has been a lot on my mind lately. First and foremost, I want you to know that I am not here to hurt your feelings. That’s not what I’m intending to do, though there are some things that need to be address. I don’t appreciate it when you constantly ask me to roleplay. I have other things I’d like to do, other people I would also like to talk to, and I think it’s a little disrespectful that you aren’t mindful of my time and other things I may want to do. Now, concerning the group. A lot of people are unhappy with the way that you constantly attempt to spotlight your character and have all the attention on them (give examples here, especially the one you mentioned). Also, it has been said that you have manipulated partners in the past. All of this has turned people away, and it’s beginning to really stress me out in real life—something I do not need. That being said, I feel that it’s time we separate as partners, as I no longer want to continue roleplaying with you. 

It’s blunt and flat. It lays everything on the table and explains everything that’s been happening. I’d feel free to add whatever you feel is necessary.

Option two is basically the same paragraph minus the end where you stop being partners if you’re still interested in roleplaying with this person. However, given the type of personality you’ve described, I don’t think she’s going to take it very well, and you may have to block her until she cools down.

Maybe before all of this, consult with your friends in the group you’re comfortable talking with and get their opinion on the matter as well. I’m sure they’ll support you in whatever you decide.

I hope this helps!

I’m friends with most of the users in the chatroom I RP in, and we have a lot of fun together. But from time to time another user will come in with her character (who is very, very badly developed, with few to no flaws) and try to RP with us (and roleplaying is something she is not adept at). 

My character (who is notorious for being a hardhead, flawed, and quick to anger) doesn’t like this other user’s character. And I have been able to pass it off as my character just generally being rude, as per the usual. But as time passes, this user’s quality of RP has been dropping— and at a rather alarming rate. At first it wasn’t too bad; it could have used a few improvements, but it was nothing I would hold against her. Now, about two months later, she’s not capitalizing anything, is leaving sentence fragments, and is incorrectly using various aspects of grammar. 

Because this user has technically done nothing wrong, I don’t feel like I can confront her about her quality of roleplay nosediving without coming off as an absolute b*tch. And so I’ve continued to have my character be rude to her character almost constantly because I simply do not like this user anymore, and over the past week or so I’ve begun to question my actions. 

I can’t go to another roleplay group to avoid her, as I’m good friends with the majority of the others in the chatroom and the group in general and I refuse to leave them behind or leave them with an explanation about a potentially small problem I couldn’t handle.

Is there anything you would recommend? I’d be extremely grateful for any advice you might be able to provide.

First I must say that you aren’t obligated to roleplay with someone for any reason. Though, I think it’s important that you tell this person you’d rather not be involved in roleplaying with them.

While their presence may bother you, etc, I don’t think it helps that your character treats her character poorly, and so on, because I think it only add to the issue at hand.

If it were me, I would just approach them and say:

Hey, I don’t want to hurt your feelings, but I just don’t see us as roleplay partners. I hope you can understand.

It doesn’t have to be long and drawn out. You also aren’t obligated to offer an explanation.

Now, after this, you don’t have to roleplay with her when she comes into the room, but I would at least talk to her OOC. Just because she is poor at roleplaying doesn’t mean she’s a bad person. Just be kind to her regardless.

Though, if she’s rude after you’ve told her you aren’t interested in roleplaying, just block her or ignore her the best you can. You don’t hate to tolerate it.

I hope this helps!

My partner and I really only do fandom RPs, usually stuff with our fave ships. I always play the same character because I know how they act, and they're my absolute favorite. I don't know if my partner is bothered by this or not, they've never said anything about wanting to play them or anything, but I feel like my reluctance to play other characters limits what we can RP. But I'm not really comfortable playing anyone else. Help?
Anonymous

There’s nothing wrong with playing the same character all the time. Not everyone is comfortable playing 5 different types of characters, and that’s okay.

Ask your partner if it bothers them. Just something like this:

Hey, I was just wondering if the fact that we don’t roleplay outside of our ships/fandom bothers you/makes you feel like I’m limiting what we’re able to do with the roleplay?

There’s all sorts of things you can still do by playing the same characters, especially with the endless possibilities of AUs (you can find all kinds of great lists floating around here on tumblr if you need some ideas). I think AUs allows you to explore all kind of things with your character while still using the same character. 

At the same time, if you ARE interested in branching out and doing other things—give it a shot. It’ll be out of your comfort zone at first, but trudge through that little bit and you may have something great.

Plot out some ideas for a new character on paper, over a few days create their backstory then get some writing prompts and write them out before actually using them for roleplay. This is really good for you to get a feel of a brand new character/personality you aren’t used to using, which can be super helpful.

I hope this helps!

Hi Niv! I came across your blog when I was searching for some role playing ideas and suggestions about role playing. When looking through your advice and answers, I learned so darn much about proper role playing! But I need a little personal opinion from someone outside my fellow role playing group. I started to role play about two years ago and have been with the same group of people since then. A few people have come and gone, naturally, but about 6 people have been the very core of our world. Now as time has gone by, I’ve really started to not enjoy role playing with half of my group. I love to death role playing about 3 of them because they’re so open and will discuss with me about their characters, the plot, and what could possibly happen. The other 3 are not so open minded, will rarely discuss their characters, make their characters so op that I can’t do anything, or won’t let any of my character create any impact on their lives or their plots, or won’t discuss their plot simply because they want it to be a “mystery”. I try to follow along with their role play, but now they just become so repetitive and predictable that I don’t want to join them anymore. I don’t want to incorporate my ideas into their plots anymore, because they won’t even try them.

This group I absolutely love chatting with, we are all friends of mine, but I don’t want to hurt any of their feelings if I decide to just role play with half the group. I feel like I dread role playing one day but absolutely adore role playing the other day. I’ve already discussed this with some of the group, but not all of them because I know specifically one person would be very VERY hurt if they found out I didn’t enjoy how they role played. They seemed to share the same feelings as I do, being bothered as to how they role play, but also don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. I would really appreciate your opinion on this situation.

Thanks for reading too! <3

I’m really glad I’ve helped!

Sometimes, no matter how easy you let someone down, they may be hurt/disappointed regardless, so I just want you to know that ahead of time.

I’m glad you’ve taken the step to discuss it with some people in the group already. You’re halfway there!

Know that you aren’t obligated to roleplay with anyone, even if you are friends with them. Some people don’t quite understand this.

That being said, if you’re wanting to specifically approach the one person who you feel might be really hurt, here is what I would say:

Hey. I just wanted to let you know first and foremost that I am not intending to hurt your feelings, because that is not what I want to do. However, I think it would be best if we went our separate ways as roleplay partners. I don’t want this to destroy our friendship, because I really enjoy talking to you outside of roleplay, but I think it would be best if we both found other partners. I hope you can understand and again, I’m not at all trying to hurt your feelings. That’s the last thing I want to do.

Give them time, give them space. You never know how they’re going to take it. Also consult your friends before talking to them, too, and get their opinion also, since they, too, know this person. They could give you more insight that I could!

This little paragraph also work for any of the other people you’re looking to stop roleplaying with. Don’t feel pressured to stay, because you don’t have to!

I hope this helps and good luck!

Hello! I need advice about a situation I’m going through with my roleplay partner. For the past year, we’ve had two muses who consider each other, I thought, to be in a parent-child relationship (my muse calls hers ‘mama’ or variations of this, and hers refers to mine as her son if they happen to be roleplaying together). However, if she is asked about her family (including how many children she has), she doesn’t mention him. I don’t think she’s ever mentioned him to another muse, let alone as her friend or child by any means. 
I realize I may be overreacting and that she doesn’t mean harm by it, but when she knows that my character honestly considers hers to be his mother, it sort of hurts that she doesn’t even acknowledge him outside of roleplays that he happens to be involved in directly. 
The reason that I haven’t brought this up with her is because she will either think I’m overreacting and that it’s not a big deal or apologize but blame herself in each and every way and feel horrible. She’s very sensitive and this is why I don’t usually bring up minor problems like this, but it’s been a year and our two muses were extremely close in my view, but her constantly ignoring him except to his face is making it hard for me to consider them close anymore.

I really want to know if I should bring this up since, to me at least, it seems to be making their relationship deteriorate. But I really don’t know how without seeming irrational, even though it’s something that’s been bothering me for a year.

If something is bothering you, I recommend bringing it up. If not saying something is going to make the situation worse, avoid doing that and have the conversation.

Here is what I would say:

Hey, I’d just like to talk about something that’s been bothering me for a long time. While it may not seem like much to you, it’s kind of a big deal to me. I feel like the relationship between X and Y is beginning to deteriorate, because he isn’t mentioned at all outside of or roleplay. (Give some examples like you’ve given me). This is just really hard for me as I consider the characters to be close, but it’s beginning to become difficult for me to continue to feel this way when she doesn’t acknowledge X’s existence outside of our roleplay.

There’s nothing wrong with bringing up something that bothers you. It’s best that you do! Let them know how you feel so the two of you can go from there.

I hope this helps!

I have a M/M pairing with someone and I love that ship dearly, however, I see my character only being top 99% of the time whereas my partner sees them as 100% versatile. In our current RP, I can already tell her character is going to top for the first time with him and I have an iffy/bummed out feeling if that makes sense. I also don't want to make my character reject bottoming as it'll kill the mood/RP all together. Any possible advice? :(
Anonymous

You need to talk to your partner about how you feel. Not letting them know is just going to make matters worse. If you don’t like something or aren’t comfortable with it—say something!

Here is what I would say:

Hey, I don’t want to kill the mood/RP altogether, but I’m really just not comfortable with my character being bottom. It just doesn’t feel right to me and I don’t know if I’ll be able to go through with it because of the way I feel about it. 

Be honest and go from there. If they don’t know how you feel, then you two can’t work on it.

I hope this helps!

Hi, I'm a part of the limited few Omegle Merthur community. There's this trend that has been bugging me lately where everyone playing Merlin wants to make him weak, pale, and basically emotionally unstable. The prompts are always some form of "save my character" or "comfort my character." I have a roleplay buddy now, and things were going pretty great. Except our rp finished, and we started a new one, switching charas. And now that she's playing Merlin, she's TOTALLY following that trend. Help?
Anonymous

Just talk to them and suggest roleplaying something different. I wouldn’t shoot it down entirely, because it may be something that they’ve wanted to try or enjoy, so I’d maybe compromise a little bit.

Here is what I would say:

Hey, while I’m totally cool with having ‘save my character’ type prompts, do you think we could switch it up here and there? I don’t want to shoot you down or shoo away your ideas, but I don’t want to get burnt out on it either the same prompts. Is that okay?

Just be honest and polite! Let them know how you feel. If you don’t tell them, you two can’t work on it together.

Hope this helps!

I just thought I'd stop by and give you a quick hug and just let you know how amazing I think you are. Thank you for all your hard work and dedication!

You’re too good to me. Thank YOU!

fuckyeahroleplayadvice:

I just want everyone to know that if you are in an emergency situation:

  • Having anxiety attacks due to roleplay
  • Are experiencing depression due to roleplay/it is interfering with roleplay
  • Are concerned for another roleplayer
  • Are concerned about your own health

the Fuck Yeah Roleplay Advice skype is available.

If you are ever in one of these situations and need someone to talk to, or just to listen, or to get advice from me, I will do my best to be there for you.

If the situation arises, please send me an ask saying that you need me to get on skype, as well as the time you sent the message (ex. 5:45 EST) so that I know if I have missed it by a few minutes, or an hour.

Real life happens for me, too, but I will do my best to reach out and be there for you.

Remember, the skype for this blog is fuckyeahroleplayadvice.

Hello. I need to know if this is acceptable. See, I used to roleplay as a character which I no longer use. After a while, I improved the character and haven’t RPed with her since. Now that I’ve been talking with my buddies again who used to RP with that character, I want to bring her back as the new and improved her and revive the old relationships and friendships. But since she’s a completely different person, I’m afraid I wont be able to revive everything without it all ending up in a huge disaster. Not to mention I disappeared for a while while I was improving her. Is there a way for me to revive everything, or is it a lost cause? Do I have to build everything up from scratch and deal with my stupidity from the past?

First: I want to say please don’t say you’ve been stupid, because you haven’t. Things happen, and that’s okay.

Next, here is the conversation I would bring up to my partners:

Hey, I just wanted to talk to you about something that’s been on my mind. I’ve brought back X, she’s new and improved, and I would really like to use her in our roleplay again, like old times. Though, I know we’ll probably have to start over or figure something out, I’m really interested in reviving old relationships and friendships. Do you think we could do that?

If they ask about why you left, just say it was personal reasons. It’s really no one’s business as to why you up and left, and you’re not really obligated to explain yourself. Again, things happen and that’s okay.

If you really want to roleplay with old partners, just talk with them and let them know you’re still  interested. I’m sure you can figure things out from there.

I hope this helps!