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Years ago I was part of a really popular RP club on an art based website. My character, A, ended up gaining an interest in V, along with someone else OC, X, and so a rivalry started between our two characters (A&X). Now there was no trouble there, we had a lot of fun with that, the trouble was the owner of V made it seem like their character was going to end up with one of ours “but V just couldn’t choose yet”. We did our best to take it in stride, and I think for the most part we thought it would just be this endless silly cycle. Until it turned out the owner of V had already paired their character ages ago, just never mentioned it to us and from what we gathered was just doing this for their own personal benefit.

Since my A wasn’t looking for love they weren’t crushed, and therefor nether was I, but apparently Vs owner had led on Xs owner a whole lot more, leading to a very sad situation.

Since then Vs owner had flipped flopped all over the place, and has become one of the most passive aggressive people I have ever met. They can be fun, and I even share interests with them, but then they’ll just change in the blink of any eye and become something I don’t like. We end up being in the same groups, so while I’m not following this person about its hard to avoid them unless I was to throw out my own interests/don’t want to apply to the group. But every time we talk I feel like I’m being guilted about something, or being treated very poorly over something I don’t even know or understand. I’ve tried talking to them, but they don’t really touch on the topic, and on some level I feel like they don’t see me as “worth their time”. I don’t think I can be friends with this person, but I want to be civil since they’re in some of the circles I’m in and get along with others, and I don’t want to be the one person who is making a face in the corner. So I guess I’m wondering how do I do this thing? Avoiding them in the group has led to little interaction with other groups members, but interacting with them is just frustrating. Right now I just feel like I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place, and I’ve been here for years! Any advice you have at all I’d be grateful for, cause I’d just like to shed this chip on my shoulder that won’t seem to go away.

This is a type of situation where a big conversation needs to happen between you and V, on all the topics you’ve discussed here. I would send them a message (preferably on some sort of messenger handle if you can, that way they may have a better chance of seeing it if you’re roleplaying here on tumblr).

Here is what I would send to them:

Hey. I know you probably don’t want to talk about it, but a conversation needs to happen between you and I. I’m not attacking you in any way, but we do need to talk. I have this feeling that I’m not worth your time any time we do talk, and that sometimes you leave the impression that I’m being guilted about something. (Offer examples if you can). Ever since the situation with pairings between you, me and X, things have just been off and I think we need to come to some sort of resolution. We have similar interests, and that means we’re probably going to end up in the same roleplay groups, as we have been, but I think the fact you and I don’t properly communicate in a positive manner leaves me with little to no interaction with the other group members, because you and I are avoiding each other, more or less. I just want us to be civil and at least decently positive to one another so that this doesn’t become an increasingly more hostile relationship, really, over nothing. Do you think we can work on this?

You lay everything out on the table on top of telling them how you feel about the situation. That’s important and I would encourage you to talk to them in the most civil manner possible, even though they may not be very nice at the beginning of this conversation. Just be polite, but frank at the same time. Get your message across. You don’t have to compromise in your interests just because you have this one person as a bit of an obstacle or challenge in your way.

The two of you can work something out if the two of you are willing. If the conversation steers into a negative direction and you aren’t sure what to do, you can come back to me for more guidance.

I hope this helps and that everything goes well.

hi, sorry if this has been asked but i cant find the answer anywhere. so i have a friend, basically the only one i rp with and she hasnt been talking with me too much and i really want to rp. i try to start a conversation with her, then once it gets going i dont want to just throw in hey wanna rp?and i rather not start a conversation asking that cuz i think its rude but my oppurtunity window closes quickly and i feel im bothering her since i always start the conversations or when i ask to rp
Anonymous

Sometimes just asking for roleplay is the way to go.

Here is something I would say:

Hey, I don’t want to be a bother, but I was just wondering if you may be interested in roleplaying with me sometime?

It’s simple, and sometimes dilly-dallying around the subject ultimately causes you to not be able to ask. It’s not rude, plus, I’m offering a polite way for it to be the first thing you say to your friend :)

I hope this helps!

I have a question I'm can't seem to find an answer to in my research looking around. I want to rp with an OC that is a prostitute, but since I'm underage I won't be smutting, of course. I'm just curious if it is alright for me, as a minor, to rp with this muse or if it's wrong for me to considering my muse's status as a prostitute.
Anonymous

As long as you’re not smutting, I don’t see an issue with it, legally or otherwise.

However, just understand people will probably assume that smut is going to happen, so you may want to make it very clear in the beginning that, although your character is a prostitute, smut is not going to happen.

I think you should be fine as long as you convey this clearly. Regardless, I’m sure you’ll still get people with the idea that you’ll be smutting with them because your character is a prostitute, but just shut them down early.

I hope this helps!

I’ve had so many people ask what inspires me, what do //I// do to get out of writers block, when I’m stuck, etc. This isn’t the usual post I do around here, but maybe it can help at least some of you instead of answering all those questions individually.

I’m inspired by just about everything. Maybe because I’m personally a very aware person, but here is a good list of things that inspire me, and may help you in the future.

Moods can be particularly helpful. Highs and lows. How I felt both in the high and in the low. How I felt in different rooms during those highs and lows. 
Random thoughts. Catching the ends of sentences. Letters and packages. Colors. Hair. Colored hair. Attitudes and peoples perceptions of the same situation. Picking a random stranger out of a crowd and wondering how they’d fit into your roleplay as a long-term character or a red shirt. 
Mythology and culture. Art and writing. Clothes. Lots of clothes. Wounds, bruises. Bodyscapes and spines. The heart and what it means to you and then the next person. Compare, then contrast.
Things I hate and why. Why do I hate them. Why would my character hate them. Music. SO much music. Taking a journey through the rhythm of someone else. Neon lights and back alleys. Things that make me scared. Things that make me delighted. Pets. Cats. Fish. The ocean and the undertow. Storms. Not just in weather, but in people.

Find new things. Things you’ve never seen before. Look outside your fashion aesthetic. Listen to new music. Not into art? Look at it. Never read into mythology? Read. You’ll find something that will spark something in you.

Literally so many things. If I catch a short thought, I hurry to write it down because it may end up being the end result of a new character, or a new story.

Being inspired doesn’t always help the rut, but writing does.

Write garbage. Write the first thing that comes to mind. Sometimes the mind gets what I call a ‘buildup’ of just junk, which you need to write out. When you write this ‘junk’ out, you’re opening the mind up to be inspired and creative. It may seem stupid and it will be hard and frustrating, as it always seems to be for me, but it will help you. You may have to write junk for 2 or 3 days before your brain says ‘okay! I give up!’ and starts being inspired again. Writing until your brain is bored and frustrated is when things start to happen. 

There are no magical fixes and everyone is different when it comes to being inspired and conquering writers block. Just try new things and explore, because giving your brain new things to look at, read, and consider gives it fuel for the imagination. And that’s what we all want.

I hope this helps at least some of you, anyway.

My RP partner and I had an original RP that went on for more than two years. Literally hundreds of characters, a fully developed world with maps, worldbuilding, politics, social hierarchy, you name it, we had it, it was an absolute behemoth. But mow it’s been drawn to a mutually considered, carefully plotted close and we’re massively happy with it, but the problem is, nothing can measure up! We’ve been playing exclusively with those characters for so long, it’s really hard to get something else going. It’s not that we haven’t got ideas - we quite definitely have. Hundreds of the things. The problem is that every time we try to start something else, it’s really hard to get into it because we’re so ingrained in the patterns/storylines/atmospheres/characters of the first RP. Any tips?

I would highly suggest mapping out the jist of what it is you all have done in the past, especially patterns and such you know you keep following no matter what you try to do.

[This] is an amazing resources that literally allows you to map and brainstorm things, save the file, and reupload it later to continue editing and adding.

This will be a great thing for you and your partner to refer back to if you think you’re beginning to follow the same flows as your previous roleplay, so you can divert it.

At the same time, map out your new ideas maybe a little more than someone would when just starting a new roleplay, so that the two of you can actually jump on that boat and sail with it. Break down the politics of your world, languages, races, time/eras, etc. so that you two have a better grasp before going in to help you follow through with that story and not fall into the previous one.

The best way to cycle yourself out of something that you’re used to is just trudging forward and going with it the best you can. Catch patterns when you see them popping up and mention them to your partner. Discuss between the two of you how to avoid and it and what to do when it’s brought up, etc. 

Take your time with it. Allow yourself to get out of your comfort zone with this new roleplay and try to explore things you didn’t in the last roleplay. I’m positive, with time, you and your partner will be able to enjoy it :)

I hope this helps!

My good friend, and rp partners keeps asking me to join a certain group. I've told him before that I'm not comfortable in large groups. I've also explained that this certain premise for the group makes me uncomfortable. I've tried using the "this one doesn't look like my cup of tea" explanation before, and he is still asking me to join. He even gave other members of the group my chat handle and they have been bugging me to join. How can I politely tell the group people to fuck off?
Anonymous

Sometimes, you have to be rather blunt to sort of get people to leave you be. I have been in similar situations myself, and being gentle didn’t really help, unfortunately.

Here is what I would say:

I have repeatedly told you several times that I am not interested in joining your group and would greatly appreciate it if you respected my decision of saying no. The fact that you and other people are consistently asking me about it is borderline harassment, so please stop asking.

I hope this helps!

I had a roleplay partner that I adored, we shipped our characters almost instantly and it worked so well. But she had multiple partners for her character, romantic and otherwise, and I didn’t want to monopolize her time, so I let my character develop a romantic relationship with another. Through no explanation, her character learned of mine’s other relationship and ended theirs.  

My character’s second relationship didn’t last much longer, it was never like with the first.  I had intended it to be AU to my character’s first relationship, but when it came up I was too scared to correct her because I thought she just decided that she didn’t like roleplaying with me anymore.  Since then, every friend my character once had fell away because I spent all my time wishing to roleplay with her again.  She unfollowed me for a while, then refollowed me later, and we’re still somewhat friends mainly because I’ve never been able to confront her about how much pain I’ve gone through.  

This was all over a year ago, and since then I haven’t been able to roleplay consistently for more than a few replies, and only very rarely.  I want to reconcile, but I feel like it’s too late to bring this up again, as she’s clearly over it, even if I am not.  I don’t want to annoy her, but I have beaten myself up over this for ages.  Should I take the effort to confront her, and maybe try to rebuild what we had before, or should I remain silent and make sure I don’t bother her, even if it means I let this pain fester within me and can’t enjoy roleplaying like I used to ever again?

If it were me, I would tell her how you felt even if the two of you never roleplay again.

Understand that you cannot force someone to roleplay with you when they’ve decided they do not want to anymore. You should respect that, but I would also voice how you feel. It’s important.

Hey. I don’t want to be a bother, but I think it’s important I voice how I feel. I’ve been really hurt since you suddenly unfollowed me and stopped roleplaying with me. [Elaborate on the situation, I was a tad confused and I don’t want to mess that up]. I understand that you don’t want to roleplay with me anymore, as it’s clear that you’ve moved on and that’s okay. However, I think it’s important for you to know how the entire situation affected me.

Don’t expect an outcome, just sort of let it happen. They may be upset, they may not be. Don’t turn it into a argument, even if they try to. Just ignore them, let them cool down, or block them altogether. 

It may be beneficial to you that you delete her out of everything you have, skype, tumblr, etc. so that you don’t keep dwelling on the feelings of this person and can move on to roleplay with someone else, who can offer you great things.

Something to consider. I hope this helps.

I recently am having trouble with one this guy I’m rping with. At first it seemed really fun rping with him. We crafted together this amazing storyline combination between crime and sweet romance that involves a young trouble maker fresh inside prison that falls in love with a hot alluring officer.  I know hot right? So anyways I sent the starter where my character going to jail like he was suppose to and he got completely upset about it and sent me a message saying if my character is inside jail (like how he was suppose to) then his character wouldn’t contact mine not at all which would really make it a hard story if the characters involved in the story never speak TT_TT So I decided to see if we could craft another idea up together to make it fun for him. So he ended up throwing the entire storyline prison theme. Which I admit was crushed by that because I really loved the theme but I didn’t want him to think I was trying to control the storyline or not allow him to express himself so I kept my mouth shut and politely listened and tried to do things his way. But it only ended up getting stressful from there. I wasn’t allowed to express any of my ideas and every time I tried to he got upset with me making him feel like a horrible rper. So I would apologize for making him upset and again ask him what he wanted and tell him how amazing I though his idea and how much better it was than mine. Because I really just wanted to make him really want to roleplay with me and to feel happy about the storyline but instead all I got was more complaining about how unfun our storyline is. I don’t understand what to do or what I’m doing wrong? I’m trying hard to make the storyline the way he wants it so he could have fun but its making me stressed and ended up making me not reply to anyone today. Which I feel horrible about doing. But I just felt like not writing when I feel like all my ideas are nothing but pointless trash and I can’t even make one storyline fun for someone.

It sounds like you don’t have a very good partner on your hands.

Let me tell you: It’s not your fault. 

There are some people, that no matter what you do, you cannot please them. EVEN IF you’ve laid everything out before hand, and go through with it, they just aren’t happy with it.

At the same time, you’re trying to dish out all kinds of ideas and it doesn’t sound like he’s contributing anything at all.

If it were me, I would ditch this person to find a better partner. He’s making you feel like crap about everything you put on the table. That’s not a positive roleplay relationship, and I advise you to get out of it ASAP. It’s not fair for you.

I would highly recommend looking at my affiliates and Resources that can help you find a better and more fun partner for you. Even if you really want to roleplay with this person, they obviously aren’t being very nice or actually COLLABORATING with you, which is supposed to be a big part of roleplay.

TLDR; 
Get out of that mess. It’s toxic. You can find better partners. I promise.

My friend and I rp smut a lot(we're both over 18)but we run into a lot of conflicts with it. We're both fairly detailed with it, but what she writes is like hentai while I like writing more realistic sex scenes (and what I mean by hentai; no condoms=no pregnancy, no lube=no problem, and if her character's the taker they're always in pain)It bugs me and makes me uncomfortable, and I want to talk to her about it, but I don't want to criticize her writing style or hurt her feelings. Help?
Anonymous

If something is making you uncomfortable, it’s definitely something you need to talk to your partner about!

Here is something I would say:

Hey, I just wanted to talk about something as it’s been making me a little uncomfortable as of late. I really enjoy roleplaying you, so I don’t want you to think that’s the problem. The problem is the way you and I write smut; it’s completely different from one another. 
It seems like there are ‘no problems’ in the way you write sex scenes. Such as no condom=no pregnancy and no lube=no problem, as well as your character almost always being in pain when they’re the bottom. This really makes me uncomfortable. I’m not trying to criticize your writing style, but as I said, it’s making me uncomfortable, and I was wondering if we could work on that so we BOTH enjoy writing smut.

It addresses the issue and lets them know you want both you and her to enjoy the smut, so it’s something you can work on together. 

Talk about it! They won’t know it’s an issue unless you speak up.

I hope this helps!

I was in an RP group that imploded. Every single member left, all for the same reason - the mod is extremely controlling / demanding. Someone I only vaguely know is planning to join the group. Is it appropriate to warn them of how much of a dictator the remaining mod is, or is that shittalking? Should I just let them figure it out for themselves? If not, how do I politely warn them of what they're getting in to? #
Anonymous

I feel that, to save someone trouble, stress, and time, it IS appropriate to warn someone about a negative person running a blog, but do it in a respectful manner.

Saying something along the lines of ‘x is such a bitch’ etc. is considered ‘shit talking’.

Here is what I would say to this person:

Hey. I know you only know me a little bit, but I noticed you were planning to join X roleplay, and I wanted to warn you against it. The remaining mod has been extremely controlling and demanding. They have even insulted players for inactivity due to school and exams. You can talk to x, since she/he was the person who was insulted because of this. If you’d like anymore information, I’m happy to share, but I don’t want you to waste your time and become stressed over a roleplay group I feel has become toxic due to the mod. (If you have screen shots, etc. or people to refer this other person to that experience things first hand, do that. It backs you up).

Just don’t say anything viciously negative about this person. Just explain how they’re being and their behavior. 

I hope this helps!